The Magic of Your Upbringing, Even If It Sucked

Personal and professional development go hand in hand, especially when you begin looking at the patterns that show up in both and where those began. Further, when we look at communication, in both business and personal settings, there is no doubt our upbringing plays a large role. This can be extremely helpful if we’ve had a healthy, functional upbringing, and downright devastating for the majority of us who didn’t. (And by the way, has a family ever existed who was perfect? I don’t think so.)

I have come to a place in my personal and professional development where I am thankful for being able to ask for help, and when I receive it, learn something new. At the very least, I learn how other people get things done. It also can free me up to focus on other things and grow in other ways if I have people help me in arenas I may not be as strong in. I am so grateful for the acceptance of help.

I’ve also learned there is a lot of reciprocity in relationships. Others want to show up for me as I show up for them, and when one helps another, they want to help back. This makes all of us stronger and it makes the relationship stronger.

“You don’t realize how much weight is carried on your shoulders when you are trying to do it all.”

When I was in my 20’s, at one of my first jobs out of college, I remember a colleague asking me how I was able to get all that I was doing done and not be a bitch all the time. I was taken aback by the question and took a moment to answer. When I did, I answered openly, “This is nothing compared to the way I was raised. I also work out every day after work to leave my aggression at the gym and clear my mind.”

It was truthful. Direct. Sad.

All of the responsibility and stress in my childhood prepared me for a career of risk taking and pushing myself in ways others did not seem to have the desire to do, all because to me, it felt easier than my younger years. It’s pretty amazing what resilience through pain can teach. I had to be flexible to survive. We all have childhoods that can prepare us for success or hinder us from it and the difference lies only in our choice.

My career at this particular firm was like no other and shaped the savvy business woman I am today. Yet, so did my upbringing where I learned to rely on myself, and create the life I wanted to have. Luckily, these two things worked well together to create a combination that lead to my career success. It didn’t lead to personal relationship success however.

When we look at personal and professional development, there are times we need one or the other, and sometimes both. While I was able to ask for what I wanted and get it in my professional life, my physical health and personal relationships were declining faster than I wanted to admit.

Where in your life are you finding balance and success and where in your personal and professional development are you finding incongruousness or holes? What choices can you start making today that could bring more fulfillment?